The first thing Lisa said when she woke up was “FABULOUS”.  After her morning cup of tea, “FABULOUS”, standing on the bus next to a sweaty man’s arm pit, “FABULOUS”, and before going to sleep at night after making love with her husband, “FABULOUS!”  Everyone thought Lisa was an extremely positive person, when in fact she has a rare form of tourette’s which made her shout out extremely positive remarks (with no reflection of her actual mood).  She used to say “poobumwilly” but ever since her trip to New York when she got trapped in an elevator with Paris Hilton for five hours, she’s been saying “FABULOUS!”

One summers day when cycling home from work through the park, a gang of youthful scallywags on their suped-up bikes sped past Lisa, narrowly missing her and causing her to lose her balance, diving head first into the duck pond to her side.   Then the resident ducks made a beeline for her, attacking this new strange creature that might steal their delicious stale bread.  She splattered about in the muddy water trying to gather herself and fend off the excitable ducks.  She made for the edge as quickly as she could, with feathers flying in all directions.  Once clear of the duck barrage, she pulled her bike from the pond and rode home with brown glum spinning off like a earthy kathryn wheel on firework night.  Ever since this day, instead of shouting “FABULOUS”, her new vocal tic is the word “DUCK”.  Which quite amusingly confuses many people when she shouts it out.